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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 05.03.04 12:08l 69 Lines 2581 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Subj: Apartment/Weddings/Parrots
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From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Apartment
---------
I listened to my aunt make fun of my apartment.
Then I proceeded to knock her flat.
Bizarre Wedding Day Disasters
-----------------------------
A French bride was arrested at her wedding reception in 1995 for stabbing
the groom with the knife they had just used to cut the wedding cake.
Right before he was due to conduct a wedding in West Yorkshire, Father
Rodney Chapman tripped over a bible, crashed into the aisle and broke his
foot. With blood streaming down his face, he managed to marry the couple
before going to the hospital.
When the future George IV got married to Princess Caroline of Brunswick in
1795, he was so drunk he had to be carried to the altar by his two ushers.
During the ceremony, he rose at one point as if trying to escape. Later,
when asked by the Archbishop if there was any impediment to the marriage,
the groom started to cry. After briefly visiting the marital bed that
night, he fell asleep in the fireplace.
Newlywed Kal Thorpe left All Saints' Church, Erdington, Birmingham, in
August 1986 to discover that the wedding car had been stolen.
At a wedding at Kingston, Surrey, in 1973, the vicar fell ill and a
replacement had to be found at short notice. Then the bride fainted when
the groom put the ring on her finger and, despite attempts to revive her,
remained unconscious for 20 minutes.
On the day of Princess Maria del Pozzo della Cisterno and Amadeo, the Duke
of D'Aosta's wedding, Cisterno's mistress hanged herself, the palace
gatekeeper cut his throat, the colonel leading the wedding procession
collapsed from sunstroke, the stationmaster was crushed to death under the
wheels of the honeymoon train, the King's aide died when he fell from his
horse, and the best man shot himself. Otherwise, everything went
smoothly...
Parrots
-------
A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed
out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left
costs 500 dollars."
"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.
The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."
The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.
"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot
can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system."
Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot.
"That one costs 2,000 dollars."
"And what does that one do?" the man asked.
The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the
other two call him boss!"
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