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ZL3AI  > HUMOUR   25.02.04 13:22l 49 Lines 1560 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Subj: Methuselah/Q&A/Seamus
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Methuselah
----------
Methuselah ate what he found on his plate
And never, as people do now
Did he note the amount of the calorie count
He ate it because it was chow.

He wasn't disturbed as at dinner he sat
Devouring a roast or a pie
To think it was lacking the right kind of fat
Or a couple of vitamins shy.

He cheerfully chewed each species of food
Unmindful of troubles or fears
Lest his health might be hurt
By some fancy dessert
And he lived more than 900 years!



Q&A
---
Q: What do you call a sheep that does karate?
A: A lamb chop

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones



Seamus
------
Seamus walked into O'Malley's bar one evening, as was his wont most
evenings. As he pulled up his customary stool, Sean O'Malley was topping
off his customary pint. But just as Sean placed the beer on the bar, a
fellow climbed onto a dais behind Sean and began reciting in a Very Loud
Voice: "There shall be no fisticuffs." "No patron shall be served more than
two drinks at one time." "No Smoking. By order of the City of New York."
"Management reserves the right..." As the voice droned on, Seamus motioned
Sean over. "What's with the grandstanding back there?" Sean answered, "I
was watching TV the other night. There was some news thing about how
business really improves when you do this. I haven't figured out how he's
going to help me with my inventory yet, but give me a few days." Seamus
said, "But what IS he DOING?" Came the reply, "He's my new Bar Code
Reader."   


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