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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 25.02.04 13:22l 70 Lines 2411 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2904-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: ESP/Godfather/Survey
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Sent: 040225/1156Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:19824 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2904-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
ESP
---
Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal
with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent a few hours
trying to wrestle it into shape.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures,
Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!"
Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00,
electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last
entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?"
"Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!"
Godfather
---------
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten
million bucks.
This bookkeeper happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his
attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you
embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million
dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper's temple, cocks it and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't
tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the
trigger!"
Late-Braking News Network - Survey
----------------------------------
New York, NY (LBNN) Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion
about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure ...
In Africa, they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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