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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 16.02.04 12:46l 81 Lines 2799 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2850-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Telephone/Weather/Shot
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0EA<DB0RES<ON0AR<ZL3VML
Sent: 040216/0958Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:19236 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2850-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Telephone Answering System
--------------------------
This is the answering machine message the Pacific Palisades High School
(California) staff voted to record on their school telephone answering
system. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring
students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and
missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who
want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though
those children were absent 15 to 30 times during the semester and did not
complete enough school work to pass their classes.
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In
order to assist you in connecting with the right staff member, please
listen to all your options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent -- Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -- Press 2
To complain about what we do -- Press 3
To swear at staff members -- Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in
your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you -- Press 5
If you want us to raise your child -- Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -- Press 7
To request another teacher for the third time this year -- Press 8
To complain about bus transportation -- Press 9
To complain about school lunches -- Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and
that it's not the teachers' fault for your children's lack of effort, hang
up and have a nice day!"
Weather
-------
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went
up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A
week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm."
The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to
hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful
predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,"
said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be
like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "My radio is
broken."
Shot
----
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his
cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking,
when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows
wanna go hunting?'"
"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.
"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm
game.'"
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