| | ZL3AI > HUMOUR 15.02.04 12:36l 106 Lines 3587 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Subj: Questions/Sentence/Restaurant
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Sent: 040215/0928Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:19186 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2846-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Unanswered questions
--------------------
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many
pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that
slot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then
what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't
all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you
always think there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup
is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what
the heck happened?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who
really is the dumber sex?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays?
Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep
wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly
ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?
Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense
in two people remembering the same things right?
Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to
live with women?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife
told you to?
Sentence
--------
Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't
worried at all about serving his full term.
The warden asked him why, since most prisoners immediately start planning
how they can get out early.
Jimmy replied, "Well, my wife has never let me finish a sentence the whole
time I've been married!"
Restaurant
----------
To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian
restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied
it with an appraising eye.
"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said finally.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner."
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