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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 15.02.04 12:26l 76 Lines 2579 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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To : HUMOUR@WW
Flying
------
Man's attempts at flight date back to around 1020 when Oliver of
Malmesbury, an English Benedictine monk, strapped a huge pair of wings to
his body and try to soar into the air from Malmesbury Abbey. He broke both
legs.
In 1783, Jacques Charles released a large unmanned balloon from Paris. It
landed in Gonesse where it was attacked and destroyed by villagers who
thought it was a monster.
In the early years of the twentieth century the Parisian Count de Guiseux
created an Aeroplane Bicycle. The device featured large wings fixed to a
bicycle with a propeller linked to the drive chain of the back wheel. To
have any hope of elevation, the Count had to pedal furiously, making any
form of flight an exhausting prospect.
The aerial velocipede was the brainchild of Monsieur A. Goupil in the
1870s. Resembling a unicycle beneath a Zeppelin, it proved spectacularly
unsuccessful despite an optimistic write-up in the French trade press.
In 1742, French nobleman the Marquis de Bacqueville launched an ambitious
attempt to fly across the River Seine in Paris with paddles strapped to his
arms and legs. With a huge crowd gathered below, he leaped from a window
ledge on the top floor of his house and began flapping vigorously. He fell
like a rock but was lucky enough to land on a pile of old clothes in a
washerwoman's boat. He sustained nothing worse than a broken leg.
Music
-----
At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose the music
they would like to enter the service to.
One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me Tender."
The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for the
family to walk in to the service.
Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player, and
the family found themselves walking in to, "Return to Sender."
Fight
-----
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to
mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
I said, "Well, It's not very absorbant and you won't be able to get into
the corners very well."
Scales
------
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the
department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.
"What's it for?" asked the first boy.
"I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it
either makes you mad or cry. That's what it does to my Dad and Mom."
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