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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 27.01.04 12:51l 86 Lines 2364 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2703-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Tshirts/Glasses/Babies
Path: DB0FHN<DB0RGB<OK0PPL<DB0RES<ON0AR<WB0TAX<SP7MGD<VK3TE<ZL2BAU<ZL2BAU<
ZL3VML
Sent: 040127/1025Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:17679 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2703-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
T-shirt slogans
---------------
A Washington Post columnist, runs a column each summer listing interesting
t-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.
I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.
On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD.
On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.
I'M STILL HOT. IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.
AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.
MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.
LIFE IS SHORT. . MAKE FUN OF IT.
I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.
ANNAPOLIS--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILING PROBLEM.
I NEED SOMEBODY BAD. ARE YOU BAD?
PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!
BUCKLE UP.
IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR.
I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.
IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.
EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.
KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.
WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.
DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.
MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.
EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE" I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH
CHOCOLATE.
CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.
LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE,
THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.
IN GOD WE TRUST. ALL OTHERS WE POLYGRAPH.
MY WIFE COMES WITH INSTRUCTIONS---LOTS OF INSTRUCTIONS
Glasses
-------
I believe my young daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she
does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she
sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.
I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to
read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I
can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'"
Babies
------
When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth
class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The
instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It
went like this:
"Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we
decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that.
Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you
so much I decided to bring home another wife.'"
One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook?"
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