| |
ZL3AI > HUMOUR 27.01.04 12:51l 72 Lines 3203 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2704-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Success/Calories/Marine
Path: DB0FHN<DB0RGB<OK0PPL<DB0RES<ON0AR<WB0TAX<SP7MGD<VK3TE<ZL2BAU<ZL2BAU<
ZL3VML
Sent: 040127/1027Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:17680 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2704-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
KEYS TO SUCCESS: Voice Mail
---------------------------
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just
because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because
they want you to DO work for THEM.
That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If
somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending
work, respond during the lunch hour. That way, you're regarded as
hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If
you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then
returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds
that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you.
The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last
message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the
number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently.
One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes
too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded
message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" a sure sign that you are a
hardworking employee in high demand.
Low in Calories
---------------
My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the
instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes of
this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?" "Low in
calories" and "lots of fiber" were among the answers.
She then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples
are not only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid
seventy-five cents for this candy bar?" We stared as she held aloft the
forbidden treat.
From the back of the room a small voice spoke up: "I'll give you a dollar
for it."
The Marine and the Girl
-----------------------
A young Marine and his commanding officer board a train headed through the
mountains of Switzerland. They can find no place to sit except for Two
seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young soldier are
interested in each other because they are giving each other "looks."
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound
of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When
the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a
word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself: "It was very brash for that young
soldier to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The commanding officer is setting there thinking: "I didn't know the young
Marine was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed
him when she slapped and hit me!"
The young woman was sitting and thinking: "I'm glad the soldier kissed me,
but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"
The young Marine sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought
to himself: "Life is good. When does a fellow have the chance to kiss a
beautiful girl and slap his commanding officer all at the same time!"
Read previous mail | Read next mail
| |
