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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 13.01.04 12:07l 106 Lines 2706 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2634-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Curiosity/Lonesome/Blonde
Path: DB0FHN<DB0RGB<OK0PPL<DB0RES<ON0AR<7M3TJZ<SP7MGD<WB0TAX<N7FSP<ZL3VML
Sent: 040113/0955Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:16773 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2634-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Curiosity
---------
I was on duty as an emergency room technician when a father brought in his
son, who had poked a tire from one of his toy trucks up his nose. The man
was embarrassed, but I assured him this was something kids often do. I
quickly removed the tire and they were on their way.
A few minutes later, the father was back in the ER asking to talk to me in
private. Mystified, I led him to an examining room.
"While we were on our way home," he began, "I was looking at that little
tire and wondering, how on earth did my son get this thing stuck up his
nose and..."
It took just a few seconds to get the tire out of Dad's nose.
Are You Lonesome Tonight? (Senior Citizen Version)
-------------------------
Are you lonesome tonight?
Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?
Does your memory stray,
To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding?
Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her,
And its prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain?
Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Is your blood pressure up?
Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit,
Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like a well oiled machine.
If it's football or baseball,
He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for.
So your gallbladder's gone,
But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
When you're hungry, he's not,
When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light,
He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic,
So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such
A cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets,
It's as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.
His new blonde wife
-------------------
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice
for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was
excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment,
it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like
your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a
bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though..."!
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Walmart?"
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