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KB2VXA > TREK 04.06.04 02:23l 97 Lines 5181 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 24172_WT3V
Read: GUEST
Subj: Re: ZF6CFC > Mr. Shplock?
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Sent: 040603/0406Z @:WT3V.#CNJ.NJ.USA.NOAM #:24172 [Lakehurst] $:24172_WT3V
From: KB2VXA@WT3V.#CNJ.NJ.USA.NOAM
To : TREK@WW
Hi Trekkies,
I have a few comments and a bit of a disagreement with the top ten things
I actually DON'T hate. (;->)
Those sliding doors can get funny at times, they had a stage hand on
either side and sometimes one would miss a cue. You can guess the
results, but how many times have you seen them open unevenly or one side
hesitate mid slide? The "whoosh" was dubbed during post so maybe if
Shplock could hear it with those Vulcan ears he wouldn't have broken his
Vulcan beak. Yeah, that's one way to get a nose job and pass yourself off
as half human.
Ah, the Federation. We had one here in the States but it fell to the
Union. Maybe one day the UFP will fall to the Romulan Empire or the
Klingons will wise up and take over the whole lot. Oh, they blamed it on
the Federation plenty of times and no wonder, the headquarters is in San
Fransisco! (If you only knew about San Fransisco.) BTW, it's the PRIME
Directive, "foist" is a reference to the episode A Piece Of The Action,
one of my favorites even if I never learned how to play Fizbin.
Wrong on "reversing polarity". The starship doesn't use time dilation but
rather time compression, that's what "warp" is all about. AC would never
work for that reason, the frequency would rise into some unknown quantum
and probably become light or cosmic rays which would kill the crew. They
use DC so reversing polarity becomes a simple matter of reversing that
big plug on the side of the impulse reactor.
Internally metered pulse, hmmmmmm, how did they get the meter on the
inside of a pulse?
Now seat belts would be fun! Considering that in battle the officers run
helter-skelter around the bridge they would impair efficiency. Then on
the other hand they would prevent them from bouncing around like ping
pong balls winding up on the floor. Then again if it were a naval warship
rather than a starship the officers would have been splattered all over
the place by those horrific concussions. AIR BAGS??? Now just what do you
think they use for life support? There are two systems, one for intake
and the other exhaust. In an emergency they divert power from life
support deflating the intake bags for more air while directing the
exhaust at the enemy. And they say you can't smell a fart in space!
Perhaps that explains the "corbomite device" Kirk made reference to, a
really secret weapon derived from putron, something borrowed from another
TV show.
Fuses? How do you fuse a plasma junction? Never mind, the controls are
fused captain!
What do you mean "rule by comittee"? Starfleet is hardly a democracy,
certainly not the chain of command on a starship. Why do you think every
captain has violated the Prime Directive on at least one occasion? Hmmm,
they should have one in Washington but they would meddle anyway...
Never mind that quizz, the scanners never worked on subspace anyway, only
VHF/UHF. Maybe you're thinking of sensors? They don't work either, the
electric eye can be blinded with a flashlight, better known as a cloaking
device. Trilitium comes in crystals, not drops. Maybe you're thinking of
Romulan ale or Klingon blood wine? Frankly I prefer Bass, the English
have the right idea. Yes, I hate synthohol, no kick! Why do you think
Scotty kept a bottle of Pinch tucked away? (Yeah, the shape of the bottle
was a dead giveaway in the episode where he and the Klingon got drunk on
a bottle of 12 year old Scotch!)
Speaking of scanners, remember the episode in which Shplock said
something to the effect "I'm picking up a signal, carrier wave modulated
by a simple binary code... radio."?
What does "Chief Cook" have to do with technobabble? The only cook aboard
a starship was Neelix, sorry, don't remember why the food replicators on
Voyager crapped out and were never repaired. Anyway, techno or
otherbabble can be useful to confuse the enemy but works best on the
audience. It seems to be an effective means of confusion on packet, but
that's fare for a bull to another TO field.
As for the holodeck, Sherlock Holmes (Data) vs. Dr. Moriarity was an
interesting episode but Picard never was able to keep his promise to the
arch villain. He placed him in permanent storage but the Enterprise was
destroyed in a later episode, Moriarity along with it. Worf was great as
a Western sheriff, another screwy episode in which the holodeck ran amok.
remember the one when the Enterprise became a steam driven train looking
for a coal mine? Being a rail fan I can pick out all the faults in that
one but I won't. (;->) Both Number One and Geordie fell in love there
proving that sometimes fantasy can get a bit too real.
The Prime Directive again? Such a thing never worked on earth and never
worked in space, be they captains or politicians they just do what's
expedicious at the time. How many half-breed offspring did kirk leave
around the galaxy? How many civilizations were overturned by Picard?
We'll never know, Star Trek as everyone has dirty little secrets to
protect.
Now was that ten? I wasn't counting and you probably weren't either, this
isn't the David Letterman Show. (;->)
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