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ZS6CFC > TREK 01.06.04 08:18l 114 Lines 3778 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : E61692ZS6CFC
Read: GUEST
Subj: Re: Top 10 Things I Hate
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<HB9EAS<HB9AK<UA6ADV<ZS6FB<ZS0DLD
Sent: 040531/2338Z @:ZS0DLD.PTA.GAU.ZAF.AF #:34170 [Pretoria] $:E61692ZS6CFC
From: ZS6CFC@ZS0DLD.PTA.GAU.ZAF.AF
To : TREK@WW
Hello and welcome
Why hate the top ten about Startrek?
10. Noisy doors.
They must be noisy. Otherwise it it just plain walls. How
often have Kirk and the Vulcan ran into a plain wall and
bumped their noses - until they made the door-Whoosh. If it
whooshes it is a Door. If it doesn't it just plain Wall.
9. The Federation
Nothing there to Creep out. All futuristic. A Star -Ship -
Crew needs a "Federation" to blame all and everything on the
foist err first "Directive" And a Directive and Money...its
like a Spandex uniform for President Bush.
8. Reversing Polarity
Well, a reinvetion for the - at our time known as -
Alternating current. Just in space , due to time ditilation
its slower. But , youre right , their Lube job stinks...
7. Seatbelts
Well...best illustrated by : Remember the olde style 1930
Movies? Detective stories PI's and such? Hop in a Car and
go?
But what is it today : Get your keys, electronic alert-door
opener and acessories. Proceed to the Car, undo traffic
ticket, unlock door, sqeeze in. Wrap up in Belts, release
electronic locks ...etc...you get my drift?
Half the time thru a wormhole would be gone by unbelting and
...but I am digressing. But they (!) Should have Air Bags.
they would be gigantic and a lot of fun.
6. Fuses.
Wouldn't be any fun with Fuses. : Mr. Schpock , why is it so
dark in here? Captain, it seems logical that a fuse has
blown. Ehh , err , Have Giordi change it! Yes Captain he is
in the process , he just has to find the right polarity on
the device.
5. Rule by committee.
Schpock and Kirk are all thats needed. E.G.: Well , Mr
Schpock, the Borg are somewhat logical in their approach?
That seems to be the case , Captain.
Shouldn't we arm Torpedoes and Fazers?
That seems to be the next logical step , Captain.
Fire Proton Torpedoes...
Err...Captain , we lost Shields and all forward energy...
Again? Yes, Captain , it seems we have annother blown fuse.
Again? Have Giordi change the thing and...
That seems to be the order , Captain , but Giordi cant
figure out the polarity.
Than we are Doomed.
Yes , Captain , that would be the logical conclusion.
Ugly lot , these Borg.
Yes , Captain , I qute agree, that seems to be the Case.
...
4. A Star-Trek Quiz...
Where are the Scanners when U need em' ? ....Polarized
again.
And where is all the "Trilithium" gone when U need a drop?
3. Technobabble?
Just listen to the Chief Cook... and if that doesn' turn
your stomach - then "bones" will do.
Who has given "Everreadies" to the Borg? Now theyre
lightyears ahead!
A watercooled Trilithium Reactor? Wow...Even Smittie would
love that.
Transistors, Transistors everywhere...and not a solid Tube.
By the way Tube, Whats on the Holodeck tonite?
A "Borg" is best described as an "african" Sculpture gone
right!
By the way , Helmsman... which way is forward on this
contraption?
He fused the Fuse , then he fused himself while fusing the
fasers fuses fused again. then he polarized.
Nothing wrong with the Trilithium , I just can't find the
Switch.
Beam me up , or beam me down...but stop joking Mr Schpock ,
and thats an order.
2. the Holodeck
Why not Sherlock holmes and Western Saloons? The power to
the Deck will be cut anyway, so they can see how much
storage space is lost for entertainment , and the Computer
will mess up the programms anyway and land up in a different
continuum.
1. The Prime Directive.
If there was no such thing, THEY would mess up Time and
Space and EONS. The TV watching public would be confused to
the maximum and no one could keep track of any of the
episodes. Look , they must have something logical but
tempting... even Schpock would love it. WE didn't need such
thing on our Planet , Logic tells us : it doesn't work!
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