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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 23.02.04 18:34l 69 Lines 2407 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Mane/Publishing/Minibike
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From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
The Horse's Mane
----------------
There was a farmer who had a horse that had a very long mane. Every morning
the farmer would go out and plow his fields and everything was fine until
one day a flock of birds flew over and built a nest in the horse's mane.
This was bad enough, however, the birds would tweet and tweet all morning
so that the farmer could not get his plowing done! One day while the farmer
was in town he ran into Gus, the local know-it-all. "Gus", the farmer said,
"this flock of birds have built their nest in my horse's mane and all
morning they tweet and tweet and I can't get my plowing done! What should I
do?".
"I've got the perfect solution", said Gus, "go home and put some yeast into
the horse's mane and all your troubles will be over!".
"Yeast!", the farmer exclaimed, "what good will that do?".
"Just try it", said Gus!
So the farmer went home and put some yeast into the horse's mane. Next
morning the nest was gone, the birds were gone, and no more incessant
tweeting! The farmer was overjoyed! The next time he was in town and ran
into Gus, he asked Gus how did he know that putting yeast in my horse's
mane would get rid of the birds, the nest, and the tweeting?
Gus replied: "Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never the mane shall
tweet!".
Where To Publish Your Paper
---------------------------
In Academia, it's "Publish or Perish" so here are a few tips for all you
Junior Professors out there on where to get your papers published.
1) If you understand it and can prove it, then send it to a journal of
mathematics.
2) If you understand it, but can't prove it, then send it to a physics
journal.
3) If you can't understand it, but can prove it, then send it to an
economics journal.
4) If you can neither understand it nor prove it, then send it to a
psychology journal.
5) If it attempts to make something important out of something trivial,
then send it to a journal of education.
6) If it attempts to make something trivial out of something important,
send it to a journal of metaphysics.
Minibike
--------
A young man drove his minibike in to a gas station and dismounted.
"I'll need about a pint of gas," he said to the attendant, "and a few
ounces of oil for the motor."
"Certainly sir," the attendant said, "And would you also like me to cough
into your tires?"
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