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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 21.02.04 16:33l 58 Lines 1753 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2872-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Remedies/Ten/Injections
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Sent: 040221/1300Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:19572 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2872-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Home Remedies
-------------
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will
forget about the tooth ache..
Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are
going to need them to empty your bedpan.
Ten
---
My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her
irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased
ten new dresses.
"Ten!" he hollered, "What could any woman want with ten new dresses??"
My mom calmly replied, "Ten new pairs of shoes."
Injections
----------
While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so
often, you got umpteen shots, whether you needed them or not. The carrier
pilot in front of me as we passed thru the line asked for a drink of water
after receiving what seemed to be at least a dozen different needles.
The Corpsman asked if he was dizzy.
"No, not at all." he replied. "I just wanna see if I'm still water-tight."
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