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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 17.02.04 13:23l 60 Lines 2169 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Subj: Linux/Lawyers/Jeeves
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From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Linux
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"Linux wasn't started as any kind of rebellion against the 'evil Microsoft
empire,' I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely
unintentional side effect."
--Linux Torvalds
And still more lawyer bashing
-----------------------------
Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: What's the difference between a dead lawyer on the road and a dead
polecat?
A: There are skid marks around the polecat.
Then there was this legal convention that was held at a rustic resort way
back in the boonies in Wyoming. They flew in from all over and met at a
tour bus that had been hired to take them. They were having a rollicking
good time when the bus, going around a steep curve, swerved to avoid a
backhoe being driven by a farmer.
The bus rolled over, spewing bodies everywhere. Now this was way back in
the woods, no traffic on the road. The farmer didn't know what else to do
so he gathered up all the dead lawyers, dug a big hole with his backhoe,
dumped them in, then buried them until he could get help to keep all the
flies and such off them.
When the State polics and others arrived they questioned the farmer about
this.
"Do you mean to tell me there were no survivors? I can't believe they all
died just from a rollover."
"Yep. Dead - every one. Of course, some of them tried to tell me they
weren't dead, just hurt - but you know what big liars those lawyers are.
Why, one of them last week tried to tell me I didn't own my farm!"
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a carp?
A: One of them is a low-life, scum sucking bottom dweller. The other is a
fish.
Ask Jeeves
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My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the
magic of the Internet. Our first move was to acess the popular "Ask
Jeeves" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's
mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of
something to ask it."
As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a
minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
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