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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 17.02.04 13:22l 58 Lines 1630 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2859-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Then/Sentiments
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From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
The First Day of School 30 Years Ago and Today
----------------------------------------------
THIRTY YEARS AGO: Miss Lichtig receives an apple from an anonymous student
and shows it to her fellow teachers.
TODAY: Ms. Lichtig receives a package from an anonymous student and shows
it to the bomb squad.
THIRTY YEARS AGO: Ed Navis, the class clown, is caught reading Playboy.
TODAY: Mrs. McMahon, the art teacher, is caught posing for Playboy.
THIRTY YEARS AGO: Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grade's first case of
whooping cough.
TODAY: Nurse Dweezel treats the fifth grade's first case of morning
sickness.
THIRTY YEARS AGO: Students find mercury, lead and cobalt on the periodic
table.
TODAY: Students find mercury, lead and cobalt in the drinking water.
THIRTY YEARS AGO: Each class begins with "Show and Tell."
TODAY: Each class begins with "Search and Frisk."
THIRTY YEARS AGO: Tenth grader Clyde Kelly is caught cheating on a pop quiz.
TODAY: Tenth grader Scott Kelly is caught cheating on his common-law wife.
Inept romantic sentiments
-------------------------
The Washington Post asked readers to come up with inept romantic sentiments
for Valentine's Day:
Your kisses are sweeter than wine, but without the paper bag.
I am irrationally exuberant for you in the third quarter of my fiscal life,
with rising indicators.
My love for you runs hotter than a '74 Nova with a V-8 engine and a busted
water pump.
Darling, you make me as hot as those hand dryers in a turnpike restroom.
If we were cockroaches, I'd want to have all 456,845 of your children.
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