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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 14.02.04 13:12l 110 Lines 3293 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2836-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Affair/Believing/Wisdom
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Sent: 040214/0959Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:19084 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2836-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
The Affair
----------
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Doug
suggested.
"But what if my wife finds out?"
"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"
So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer
together."
"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that a couple of dozen times - it
didn't work."
Do You Believe?
---------------
Little Johnny was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little
boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.
"Sure you can, Mickey," Johnny said, "Just flap your arms really REALLY
hard."
So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped,
then smashed into the ground six feet below. Horrified, their mother came
screaming into the room and said, "What on earth happened?!?"
Little Johnny said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything
someone tells him."
Zen Wisdom
----------
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just pretty much leave me
alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky
tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable.If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you say something stupid.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Thay
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back
in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it
holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt ... then
things get worse.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
same night.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a
big deal about your birthday ... around age 11. (You get to start again at
age 100.)
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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