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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 08.02.04 13:09l 96 Lines 3231 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2787-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: 2.0/Dog/Accountants/Exercise
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0EA<DB0ACC<DB0GOS<ON0AR<ON0AR<WB0TAX<VK7AX<
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Sent: 040208/1009Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:18649 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2787-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
An Updated Version
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HOLLAND, Mich. - Some parents will name their son after the father, tacking
a Jr. or II onto the end of his name. This tradition was apparently too
common for one engineering techie who decided to add 2.0 to his newborn
son's name. Jon Blake Cusack persuaded his wife, Jamie, into naming their
child Jon Blake Cusack 2.0. Version 2.0 was born at Holland Community
Hospital last Tuesday, and he was taken home Friday. Cusack said he wanted
to name his son something different and came up with the idea a few months
ago. After encouraging his wife to go along with it, she finally conceded a
week before the birth. The proud parents sent out an electronic birth
announcement after 2.0's birth. "I wrote in the birth announcement e-mail
stuff, like there's a lot of features from version 1.0 with additional
features from Jamie," said papa Cusack.
Dog
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LIVERMORE, Calif. - Clifford J. Dawg, a dog, recently got a Platinum
MasterCard with a spending limit of $1,500. Cliff- ord's owner, Steve Borba
of Livermore, Calif., set up a free e-mail account and registered it to his
pug. Clifford soon got a letter from a major bank telling him he'd been
pre-approved for a credit card. Borba sent back the application, saying Mr.
Dawg worked at a "Pupperoni Factory" and his mother's maiden name was
"Pugsy Malone." He even added a note that said "You are sending an
application to a dog! Ha ha ha." The card came in the mail, anyway. Borba
called the bank to cancel it, but the person on the other end of the line
was vastly amused and started discussing using the incident in a
commercial. "Dogs don't chase us - we chase them," The bank representative
reportedly suggested as a slogan.
Accountants
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Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying
job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education,
but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator
(he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he
wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very
curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even
though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
Exercise regimen
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The Doctor told me, I should start an exercise program. Not Wanting to harm
this old body, I've devised the following:
MONDAY
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper
TUESDAY
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head
WEDNESDAY
Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Run around in circles
THURSDAY
Advise the Prime Minister on how to run the country
Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire
FRIDAY
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge
SATURDAY
Pick up the pieces.
SUNDAY
After a week like that, thank God for a day of rest!
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