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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 07.02.04 13:01l 84 Lines 2701 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2782-ZL3AI
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Subj: Heard/Pager/Blondes/Upbeat
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Sent: 040207/1042Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:18555 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2782-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Did You Hear About The ...
--------------------------
Paper company that folded?
Brake company on the skids?
Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
Baker who was short of dough?
Refrigerator manufacturer that had it's assets frozen?
Upholsterers that couldn't cover their costs?
Adhesive tape company that got into a sticky situation?
Tennis ball manufacturer that ended up in court?
Downfall of the bungee suppliers?
Pager
-----
Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an
anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind
him--lights flashing.
Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an
emergency call.
Within seconds, came the police officer's hand in response, dangling a pair
of handcuffs out the window.
Blonde Pilot
------------
Two blondes were sitting around talking. After a while, first blonde looks
at the second blonde and says, "Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my
airplane?"
The second blonde says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"
So they go for a tour around the city in the plane. Eventually they run
low on fuel and need to land. The pilot starts circling around looking for
a place to land. She sees an airstrip close by. She says her new buddy
along for the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as
any."
So she circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last minute she
swerves and pulls back up. "Yikes!" she says, "That is the SHORTEST runway I
have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to land on it?"
Since it's the only runway nearby, she decides to try again, with the same
result. Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to her friend, "All
right, I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just
going to crash and hope we don't die."
So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither is hurt. When they crawl
out of the wreckage, the first blonde is swearing and gesticulates wildly
at the runway. "I'm gonna find whoever designed their crazy runway and
wring her neck! She must be total moron! No one could land on anything that
short!"
The second blonde looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it is!"
Upbeat
------
One of my friends, a musician, is always upbeat. Nothing gets her down.
But when she developed ringing in one ear, I was concerned it might
overwhelm even her. When I asked if her condition was especially annoying
to a musician, she shook her head.
"Not really," she said cheerfully. "The ringing sound is in the key of B
flat, so I use it to tune my cello a half-tone lower."
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