| |
ZL3AI > HUMOUR 02.02.04 11:13l 74 Lines 3107 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2755-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Hungry/Battle/Dogs
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0EA<DB0RES<ON0AR<ZL2BAU<ZL2BAU<ZL3VML
Sent: 040202/0847Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:18096 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2755-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Hungry?
-------
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
--Orson Welles [1915 - 1985]
My favorite animal is steak. --Fran Lebowitz [1950 - ]
I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient.
--Cyra McFadden
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian;wine and tarragon make it French. Sour
cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes
it Chinese; garlic makes it good.
--Alice May Brock
I'm starting a diet ... I'm no longer going to be my blubber's keeper
Customer: "Do you serve crabs here?"
Waiter: "We serve anyone, please sit down!"
If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen.
Battle of the sexes
-------------------
WOMEN'S REVENGE: "Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do
to him."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE): I know I'm not going to
understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, and rip the hair out by the root, and still
be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR : While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is
essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each
other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite
flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop
right here.
WIFE V/S HUSBAND: A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
VERBOSITY: A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women
use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to
be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, "What?"
Dog Show
--------
Over the weekend I happened to catch a glimpse of some National Dog Show
event as I flipped through the channels. The dog on the screen at the time
was a white English sheepdog. It was simply a mound of fur with four legs.
The judge was brushing back the dog's hair so she could look at the
animal's eyes. The TV announcer was explaining that each dog has to have
its eyes checked to make sure they're the right shape, color, etc., etc.
Another announcer chimed in with, "Well, plus the judge has to see if the
dog HAS both of its eyes. 'Cuz if you start combing through hair and you
only see ONE eye . . . you're looking at the wrong end of the dog."
Read previous mail | Read next mail
| |
