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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 28.01.04 13:03l 80 Lines 2651 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2710-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Detergent/Rhyming/Dog/Shoes
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0FHK<DB0ACC<DB0GOS<DB0EEO<DB0RES<ON0AR<ZL2BAU<
ZL2BAU<ZL3VML
Sent: 040128/1017Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:17718 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2710-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
A letter to Tide detergent
--------------------------
Dear Tide,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! One evening about a
month ago, while at home, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.
My husband started to berate me about my drinking problem and how expensive
the blouse was. Well, one thing lead to another and I ended up with a lot
of his blood on my white blouse, as well.
I tried to get the stains out using the bargain brand detergent my cheap
husband bought, but they just wouldn't come out. I went to the local
convenience store and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative,
and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in fact, that the
forensic DNA tests were all negative!
I thank you, once again, for a great product!
Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
Sincerely,
Recently Widowed
Rhyming
-------
Sunday dinner with my mother Louise, my father Fred, and my three siblings
were always lively. On one occasion all of us, except my mother were in a
silly mood and we began requesting, in rhyme, items at the table. "Please
pass the meat, Pete."
"May I have a peas, Louise?"
"I'd give you the moon for a spoon."
After several minutes of this, my mother had heard enough. "Stop this
nonsense now!" she shouted. "It's Sunday, and I would like to enjoy my
dinner with some good conversation, and not all this chatter."
Then she sat down, still in a huff, turned to my father and snapped,
"Please pass the bread, Fred."
She was not amused when we all burst out laughing.
Dog for protection
------------------
My sister, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she
inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men."
Perfect, my sister thought, and took the dog.
Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she
watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear
that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under
the nearest car.
Shoes
-----
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The
obviously well trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or
eleven-and-a-half."
"Just bring me a size eight."
The sales guy brings them and the man stuffs his feet into them and stands
up in obvious pain. He turns to the salesman and says, "I've lost my house
to the I.R.S., I live with my mother-in-law, my daughter ran off with my
best friend, and my business has filed Chapter 7."
"The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes
off."
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