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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 18.01.04 11:48l 109 Lines 3291 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2650-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Laugh/Security/Stressed
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Sent: 040118/0934Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:17058 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2650-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
A laugh is a smile with fireworks
---------------------------------
Ah, another good day; my ISP is still working!
A laugh is a smile with fireworks!
Hookd on fonix reelly workd fer mee!
A watchmaker is someone who doesn't charge extra for working over time.
Don't be pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
HowCanIBeCreativeWithSuchALimitedAmountOfSpaceToWorkWith?
Hocus Pocus' doesn't work anymore; I think they changed the password.
I support Merit Pay and Piece Work for politicians.
I'd whistle while I work, but all I know are happy songs.
This eFriendship works out b/c I am Gemini and you are ridiculous.
Please weight...Spell Checker at work.
Border Security Measures
------------------------
U.S. Begins Hoofprinting Canadian Cows at Border
With the dual threats of terror attacks and 'mad cow' disease dominating
the headlines, the U.S. Department of Barnland Security yesterday
implemented heightened border security measures, including hoofprinting and
photographing of all cows entering the country from Canada.
On the first day of the intensified process, some cows seemed reluctant to
place their hooves on the computer screen and to stand for the photo, but
Barnland Security officials said the new measures add only about 20 seconds
to the normal border-crossing process.
Canadian bovine-rights advocates protested what they called "xenophobic
species-profiling."
"Non-threatening holsteins are treated like criminals just because they're
cows and they're Canadian," said an unnamed spokesman for the Bovine Civil
Liberties Union (BCLU). "All they want is to be allowed to graze in peace
and contribute to the U.S. economy as best they can."
You Know You're Too Stressed Out If...
--------------------------------------
- You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.
- The Sun is too loud.
- Trees begin to chase you.
- You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
- You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip
solution of espresso.
- You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of
coffee.
- You can hear mimes.
- You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
- Things become "Very Clear".
- You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
- You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you
have said it before.
- You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can
understand.
- The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
- You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!" even though you are the only one
in the room.
- Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
- You and Reality file for divorce.
- You can skip without a rope.
- It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
- You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and
Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the
white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than you were before.
- You can travel without moving.
- Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
- You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
- You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are
talking to.
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