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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 14.01.04 12:26l 80 Lines 2958 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2636-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Slow/Greetings/Teachers
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0MRW<OK0PKL<OK0PPL<DB0RES<ON0AR<ZL2BAU<ZL2BAU<
ZL3VML
Sent: 040114/1002Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:16837 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2636-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Slow
----
Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After
a visit to the job centre he was offered work at the local Zoo. When he
arrived for his first day, the keeper aware of his reputation told him to
take care of the tortoise section.
Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Martin was getting on and found him
standing by an empty enclosure.
"Where are the tortoises?" he asked him.
"I can't believe it" said Martin
"I just opened the door and then.....Whooooosh!"
Greetings
---------
A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the
number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him. But when they finished their
off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number.
"Don't let it bother you," said a strange but amused voice. "You folks
need all the practice you can get."
What a teacher says and what he/she really means
------------------------------------------------
1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from
his classmates.
Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.
Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact
with fiction.
Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that
high expectations don't intimidate her.
Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.
6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.
7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an
assignment she creates a class argument.
8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
Really means: He's a bully.
9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore
new territory.
Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.
11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very
expressive and open.
Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.
12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be
enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school
and must repeat the 8th grade.
13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.
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