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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 03.01.04 12:24l 88 Lines 2967 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2599-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Big Brother
Path: DB0FHN<DB0RGB<DB0MRW<DB0ERF<DB0FBB<DB0GOS<DB0ME<DB0DSP<DB0EEO<DB0RES<
ON0AR<ZL2BAU<ZL2BAU<ZL3VML
Sent: 040103/0955Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:16083 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2599-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Big Brother
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Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Palace. May I have your..."
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Binwah. I see you live at
1742 Quacker Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366.
Your work number over at Shorty's Grease Rack is 745-2302 and
your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas..."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health
Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza.
I'm sure you'll like it"
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out _Gourmet Soybean Recipes_ from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
What's the damage?"
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh. heh, comes $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."
Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're
out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
little awkward."
Customer: "How the h*ll do you know I'm riding a bike?"
Operator: "It says here you were in arrears on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that
you'd be using it."
Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
July 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop."
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Pepsi
your ad says I get with the pizzas."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics."
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