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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 23.12.03 19:29l 162 Lines 6048 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Subj: Bizarre/Puzzle/Texas
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Bizarre Acts
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A man who said he was "tired of walking" stole a steamroller and led police
on a chase that never went over 5 mph. Fina- lly, a police officer walked
up and jumped onto the machine, forcing the man to stop.
A businesswoman was at work one day in San Francisco when a colleague saw
her take out her credit card and slide it into the 3.5-inch floppy drive on
the computer. Her colleague asked her what she was doing and she explained
that she was shopping on the Internet.
A 23-year-old woman was arrested at the Salt Lake City airport hotel when
she tried to pay for her visit with three $16 bills.
A man who installed windows in skyscrapers was showing his customers how
strong each pane of glass was by getting a 10 foot running start and
jumping against the windows from the inside. However, the windows must not
have been as strong as he thought: one shattered and he plummeted 27
stories to his death.
Two Texas men tried to rob an ATM by attaching the ends of a chain to the
front of the machine and the bumper of their truck. When they pulled, the
bumper fell off the truck. The men then panicked and fled the scene,
failing to notice that their license plate was still on the bumper.
SYDNEY - A bank robber who disguised himself as Santa Claus will be
spending Christmas in jail after he forgot about the pants. Gregory
Harland-White's plan was to rob a bank dressed as Santa, discard the suit
in a horse trailer and make his getaway on a bicycle. He had purchased a
Santa suit from a chicken feed shop near the bank and armed himself with
two pieces of pipe taped together to resemble a gun. After robbing the
bank, Harland-White ran into a nearby house trailer to take off the suit
and then hurried towards his get away bicycle. Before he could make it to
his bike, however, he was caught because he was still wearing the Santa
pants. He pleaded guilty to bank robbery in a court in Tasmania and is
awaiting sentencing.
EXETER, England - A burglar has been jailed in Exeter, England, after
stealing a complete fitted kitchen, including the sink, from a house and
installing it in his own home. According to the Exeter Express, Patrick
Corby stripped down the $49,500 kitchen in the Exeter house over several
days using power tools. He then carried off the units, freezer,
refrigerator, dresser and carpets and re-built the kitchen in his own home,
also in Exeter. Andrew Weir, the owner of the house, was living elsewhere.
When the kitchen was later found, police discovered a total of 84 items
stolen from the unoccupied house. Police said Corby was helped in the
burglary by 33-year-old William Roast, who had been illegally living there.
The absentee owner was shocked, according to prosecutor Richard Crabb, at
the scene of "utter devastation" he found. Corby was sentenced to two years
in jail, Roast to one.
LUMBERTON, TX - A 56-year-old man dialed 911 and demanded that police
arrest his fugitive cat. Police went to the home, but it wasn't the cat
that was arrested. Police reports reveal that Lloyd Gregory Coleman
continuously called 911 to insist that officers come and arrest his feline,
who he claimed possessed outstanding warrants. Dispatchers warned Coleman
to stop calling 911, but he didn't listen. When the cops arrived, Coleman
let them search his house for the cat. He also asked them to look for
roaches - because he had a lot of them. Police didn't find the cat, but
they did discover a prescription bottle of marijuana seeds. Coleman was
arrested on complaints of abusing the 911 phone lines, and possession of
drugs. Deputies couldn't confirm if the outlaw cat was still at-large.
SYDNEY - An Australian man who notified police to report that thieves were
trying to break into his home and steal his cannabis plants ended up
getting arrested himself. The police came to the house in Adelaide, capital
of the state of South Australia just after midnight to discover four men
trying to get away with the plants, which were being grown in two rooms
there. The men were arrested, along with the 23-year-old homeowner, who was
later charged with illegally growing 16 cannabis plants. "He was calling
from underneath his bed," a police spokesman said. "I don't know what he
was thinking. Perhaps he was smoking too much of his own product."
Puzzle
------
Can you add eight 8's together so they add up to an even one thousand?
_________________________________________
SCROLL DOWN TO FIND THE SOLUTION
_________________________________________
Answer:
888
88
8
8
8
_____
1000
Texas
-----
Twas the night before Christmas, In Texas you know,
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreaming of Christmas, like me and like you.
Not stockings but boots, at the foot of their beds,
For this was Texas, What more need be said?
When all of a sudden from out the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright!
And I saw cross the prairie, like the shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, Come on at a run.
The driver was "whistling" and "shouting" with a will,
The "Horses" (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.
"Come on there Buck, Poncho, and Prince, to the right"
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you-all tonight..
The driver in his Levis, and a shirt that was red,
Had a 10 gallon Stetson on the top of his head.
As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
with his beard so curly and white.
As he burst in the cabin, the children awoke,
And both so astonished, that neither one spoke.
And he filled up their boots with such presents galore,
That neither could think of a single thing more.
When Buddy recovered the use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper "Are you really Santa Claus?"
"Am I the real Santa? Well, what do you think?
And he smiled as he gave his mysterious wink.
Then he left in his buckboard, and called back in a drawl,
TO ALL CHILDREN OF TEXAS-MERRY CHRISTMAS YEE HAW!
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