| |
ZL3AI > HUMOUR 23.12.03 19:26l 80 Lines 2177 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2531-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Pets/Marriage/Luggage
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0MRW<DB0ERF<DB0FBB<DB0GOS<ON0AR<ON0AR<7M3TJZ<LZ3NP<
IK6PYS<ON0BEL<ZL2BAU<ZL2BAU<ZL3VML
Sent: 031223/1021Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:15169 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2531-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Pets
----
We, your cats, at Christmas say,
Thanks for caring for us each day.
We love this season, all green and red,
And by the way, the hamster's dead.
I've always loved the Christmas Feast.
I've heard this year it's ham.
Too bad I've other plans this time.
Love, Your Pot-bellied Pig named Sam.
FROM YOUR PARROT:
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells...
Wrapping paper! Ribbon! Bows! Tree! Tree! Tree! Tree! Shiny! Shiny!
Christmas balls! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! {CRASH!!}
I want to say I love you,
Before anything could spoil it.
So don't look in the living room
That new carpet? I just soiled it.
I'm always happy to see you,
I try to bring you joy.
But I'll kill you in your sleep
if I get one more Disney chew toy!
As watchman-cat, I've done my job,
The house is safe once more.
That shiny stuff that stormed the tree
Is dead now on the floor.
Santa brought you presents,
While you slept in your beds.
All I, your cat, can offer
Is a field mouse, ripped to shreds.
This Christmas Eve if you hear a noise,
it's me -- your little Yuletide elf.
In your shoe, you'll find a steaming gift,
I made it by myself!
I think that I shall never see
a thing as lovely as a Christmas tree.
You decorated it so nice,
I'm sorry I peed on it -- twice.
Marriage
--------
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in
her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.
"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.
"Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."
Luggage
-------
Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight
attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag. The lead
flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but the woman argued that
her bag was a carry-on because it had wheels and a handle.
Without blinking the attendant said, "My Ford has wheels and a handle, but
that doesn't make it a carry-on."
Read previous mail | Read next mail
| |
