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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 19.12.03 11:15l 45 Lines 1361 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Quotes
------
The true worth of a man is to be measured by the objects he pursues.
--Marcus Aureleus (121-180) Roman emperor (161-180)
Great and good are seldom the same man.
--Winston Churchill
Great men are true men, the men in whom nature has succeeded. They are not
extraordinary -- they are in the true order. It is the other species of men
who are not what they ought to be.
--Henri Frederic Amiel
Judge
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A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,
"Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. The lawyer for
the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for
the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way. In order to
make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense."
Snakes
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Felix was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into
the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief
warned him, "Be careful, the snakes are out."
The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting
assistance with removing the snakes.
"You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually
call the fire department to help them with snakes? What do you say to
them?"
"Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is, 'Is it on fire?'"
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