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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 18.12.03 09:53l 132 Lines 4437 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Sent: 031218/0721Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:14876 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2518-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
A Little Christmas Poem
-----------------------
The wife is shopping for Christmas gifts,
With purchases little and large;
She doesn't believe in Santa Claus...
But she believes in Master Charge!
Santa clause
------------
Miramar, Florida -- Sandra Jolly said her 6-year-old son's Christmas was
spoiled when his teacher told the first-grade class Monday that "Santa
Claus is make-believe." "He had this sad, lost puppy dog look on his face.
This unhappy, empty look," Jolly said. "He said his teacher informed the
entire class that Santa is make-believe."
D.J.'s teacher, Geneta Codner, was reading a story about the Tooth Fairy
when the class started discussing what was real and what was not, said
district spokesman Joe Donzelli.
When the subject of Santa came up, the teacher started questioning parts of
his story--How could a fat jolly man fit down a chimney? How could reindeer
fly around the world in one night?--and told the children that wasn't
possible.
"It's all been blown out of proportion," Codner said. "I'm sorry (parents)
think I meant it that way. We were just having a discussion. I don't know
where all this hurt came from." The teacher said none of the children acted
upset or sad during class. But Jolly and others disagree.
"How do you destroy a 6-year-old like that?" said Pam Sturt, whose son
Bradley is in D.J.'s class. Donzelli said the school's principal "had a
real stern conversation" with the teacher. But there will be no written
reprimand because she did not violate any school district policy.
"We have no Santa clause," Donzelli said. "We would think that teachers
would use better judgment."
+Source: Associated Press, Dec. 4, 2003+
Twelve Step Internet Recovery Program
-------------------------------------
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper
like I used to, before the Internet.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand
typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan
dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends
and family that are Internet-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the
Internet.
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling
them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is
necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to
balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed
sometime... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!
Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus
--------------------------------------
1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the
office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it a job
requirement.
4. One big black belt - accessorized for life!
5. There'd be no reason to have your colors done.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't.
7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled...that is when you
giggled...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with your purse.
8. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
9. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty 'Ho! Ho! Ho!',
would remind everyone who's boss.
10. You wouldn't need an expensive briefcase.
11. No one would dare ask for a ride to work.
12. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip showing.
13. No more trips to the vending machine...you'd just snack on milk and
cookies all day long.
14. You'd never be asked to take an early retirement package.
15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your children would
adore you; even your teen-agers would want to sit in your lap.
16. You'd be guaranteed the best chair in the office.
17. Age discrimination wouldn't be an issue.
18. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door.
19. No one would ask to see your job description.
20. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd better not pout.
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