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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 17.12.06 02:04l 87 Lines 2871 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 9300-ZL3AI
Read: GUEST
Subj: Married/T-Shirts/Sermon
Path: DB0FHN<DB0RGB<DB0MRW<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0EA<DB0RES<F5GOV<F4BWT<IW2OAZ<
ZL2BAU
Sent: 061217/0100Z @:ZL2BAU.#79.NZL.OC #:21125 [Waimate] $:9300-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL2BAU.#79.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
How To Stay Married
-------------------
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared
everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from
each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of
her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her
about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the
little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe
box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When
he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling
$95,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said,
"my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.
She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and
crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the box. She had been angry with him only two times
in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this
money? Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."
[bonus joke]
"If advertising encourages people to live beyond their means, so does
matrimony."
-- Bruce Barton
Real T-shirt Slogans
--------------------
1. "Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
4. "Procrastinate Now."
5. "Rehab Is for Quitters."
6. "My Dog Can Lick Anyone."
7. "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
8. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt)
9. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15."
Sermon
------
A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a
good point during his sermon and a member of the congregation responded
with "Amen" or "That's right, preacher" he would get wound up even more and
launch into another lengthy discourse.
Finally, the host pastor started responding to every few sentences with
"Amen, Pharaoh!" The guest minister wasn't sure what that meant, but after
several more "Amen, Pharaohs" he finally concluded his very lengthy sermon.
After the service concluded and the congregation had left, the visiting
minister turned to his host and asked, "What exactly did you mean when you
said "Amen, Pharaoh?"
His host replied, "I was telling you to let my people go!"
73, David ZL3AI.
http://www.geocities.com/zl3ai
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