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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 13.01.06 04:37l 86 Lines 2822 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 7059-ZL3AI
Read: GUEST
Subj: Resolutions/Tshirts/Trying
Path: DB0FHN<DB0FOR<DB0SIF<DB0EA<DB0RES<DK0WUE<SP7MGD<VK7AX<ZL2BAU
Sent: 060113/0231Z @:ZL2BAU.#73.NZL.OC #:31631 [Blenheim] $:7059-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL2BAU.#73.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
New Year's Resolutions
----------------------
FORMER FEMA CHIEF VOWS TO MAKE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BY MARCH 1
Michael Brown Apologizes For Delay
Former Federal Emergency Management Agency director Michael Brown said
today that he had not yet made his New Year's resolutions for 2006 but
vowed to have them done by March 1 "at the very latest."
Mr. Brown apologized for the delay at a Washington press conference that
was originally called for ten o'clock this morning but was not actually
held until four in the afternoon.
The former FEMA chief, visibly embarrassed by not having made his New
Year's resolutions in a timely fashion, said that he had been "caught
unawares" by the change in years.
"I turned on the TV and saw that ball dropping, and I was like, holy cow, I
better get on this," Mr. Brown said.
Despite his delay in making his resolutions, Mr. Brown said he expects 2006
to be a big year for him and his new disaster preparedness consulting firm,
adding, "By the end of 2006, the name Michael Brown will be synonymous with
disaster."
At the White House, President Bush briefly commented on Mr. Brown's delay
in making his New Year's resolutions, telling reporters, "I'm sure that
whenever Brownie eventually makes them he'll do a heckuva job."
For his part, Mr. Brown gave reporters a sneak peek at his list of
resolutions, saying that number one on the list would be "Get things done
sooner" and that number two was "Remember to buy more Post-its."
Elsewhere, legal experts called the trial of former Iraqi dictator Saddam
Hussein "the trial of the century," explaining that it would take at least
that long to complete.
Bizarre T-Shirt Sayings
-----------------------
(around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
My Wife Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do
(Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah
Senior Citizen: Just Give Me My Discount
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money
IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be
Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
Second Try
----------
Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it
had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to
be right.
By 7 p.m. things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I
had just got home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.
I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm
home!"
"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply "It's after seven
o'clock!"
73, David ZL3AI.
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