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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 09.03.04 12:12l 77 Lines 2519 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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To : HUMOUR@WW
Bizarre Canadian Laws
---------------------
You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.
Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.
In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill a sasquatch.
In New Brunswick, driving on the roads is not allowed.
In Montreal, you may not swear in French.
Also in Montreal, citizens may not relieve themselves or spit on the
street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.
In Beaconsfield, it is considered an offense to have more than two colors
of paint on your house.
In Toronto, you can't drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.
The city of Guelph is classified as a no-pee zone.
Letters
-------
The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury.
"I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want
them stopped."
"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the
mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?"
"Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal Revenue
Service."
A Chef
------
What's the difference between a Cook and a Chef?
A Chef is a cook who swears in French...
Marriage And The Common Cold
----------------------------
1st year --The husband says, "Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about
those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into
with all the Strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right
down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I
know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from
Tosini's. I've already arranged it with the head nurse."
2nd year --"Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called
the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't
you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?"
3rd year --"Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you
need the rest. I'll bring you something -- do we have any canned soup
around here?"
4th year --"No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather.
When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you
ought to go to bed yourself!"
5th year --"Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"
6th year --"You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around
barking like a dog!"
7th year --"For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me
pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."
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