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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 10.02.04 15:44l 78 Lines 2818 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
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Subj: Change/AI/Motorists
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From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
A change of heart
-----------------
Dear Spike,
I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her
engagement to you. Will you forgive and forget?
I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo, and pierced nose. I now
realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not
have reacted the way I did to the fact that you have never held a job.
I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in
the park.
Sure, my daughter is only 17 and wants to marry you instead of going to
Harvard on a full ride scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything
about life from books. I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was
wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses and you have my full
blessing to marry my daughter.
Sincerely,
Your future father-in-law....
P. S. Congratulations on winning the Powerball lottery
Artificial Intelligence
-----------------------
A lady bought a new car. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it
back, complaining that the radio was not working.
"Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is
completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen
to, and you will hear exactly that!"
She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the
radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" She was
astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat
King Cole, she got it.
She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying "On The Road Again" when the
light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility
vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously
not paying attention to the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a
collision.
"Idiot!" she yelled and, from the radio, "Ladies and gentlemen, the Prime
Minister."
Bizarre Motorists
-----------------
Former traffic policeman William Alexander set out to drive the 15 miles
from Hereford to Ross-on-Wye in 1996. He and his wife were found confused
36 hours later, after a 1,000 mile drive, going the wrong way down the MI
near Barnsley.
In 1994, a nun who said she was rushing an injured dog to the vet was fined
for reckless driving after refusing to stop for armed police in New York
State.
Leroy Linen, a scrap-metal dealer from the Bronx, was banned from driving
633 times between 1990 and 1994.
Assuming she had failed after hitting the curb during her 1995 test at
Lowestoft, Tcheeka Johnson punched the examiner on the leg, screeched to
a halt and pushed her out of the passenger door.
Trying to test his oil level manually, a Wakefield motorcyclist got his
finger stuck in the oil tank and had to summon the fire brigade to release
him.
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