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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 25.01.04 02:52l 128 Lines 3805 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2664-ZL3AI
Read: DH0GHU GUEST DL4NWM
Subj: Lies/Trivia/Thoughts
Path: DB0FHN<DB0RGB<DB0MRW<OK0PKL<OK0PPL<DB0RES<ON0AR<VK6HGR<VK3KAY<ZL2BAU<
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Sent: 040124/2354Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:17495 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2664-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
The Biggest Lies In The World
-----------------------------
It's a good thing you came in today. It's the last one we have.
I promise to pay you back on my next paycheck.
You made it yourself? I would have never guessed.
Your hair looks just fine.
It's delicious but I can't eat another bit.
Go ahead and tell me, I won't tell another soul.
The doctor will call you right back.
You don't look a day over 50.
Your baby is just beautiful.
I gave at the office.
Put the map away. I know where we are.
Having a great time. Wish you were here.
Trivia
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Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the
mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away
from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood
plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or
older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
The wingspan of the B-36, a retired USAF bomber, was twice as long.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each
salad served in first class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the
first 'Marlboro Man'.
Barbie's full first name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
All U.S. presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like to be seen
wearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when engines
were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and
figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
And the best for last...Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Thoughts
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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that
everyone has clipped on. On my limited pension, I can't afford one. So I'm
wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer
cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it
"Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease ... that's when your chest is
falling into your drawers!
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have
you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of
an emergency. I generally write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they delivered the mail?
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