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ZL3AI > HUMOUR 28.12.03 14:18l 77 Lines 2915 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2567-ZL3AI
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Subj: Mishaps/Tough/Inn
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Sent: 031228/1139Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:15487 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2567-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To : HUMOUR@WW
Bizarre Military Mishaps
------------------------
In 1757, a Prussian army had to abandon a safe escape route when they saw
the road blocked by what they believed to be batteries of Austrian
artillery. It turned out to be nothing more deadly than a herd of cattle.
In 1836, when Mexican troops were engaged in skirmishes with the Texans,
Mexican General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna ordered his troops one
afternoon to take a siesta. During the nap, the entire Mexican army was
routed by the Texans in just 18 minutes.
At the Battle of Karansebes in 1788, 10,000 Austrian soldiers were killed
or injured by their own side when drunken comrades began shouting that the
Turks were upon them. In the darkness and confusion, the Austrians started
firing indiscrimately at each other.
When relations with Bolivia soured in 1865, Queen Victoria ordered the
Royal Navy to send six gunboats to Bolivia and sink its fleet. Her admirals
quietly pointed out that Bolivia had no coast and therefore no fleet,
whereupon the Queen sent for a map and a pair of scissors and cut Bolivia
from the world.
Famous American General Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson was devoutly religious
and considered fighting on a Sunday to be a sin. In 1862, at the height of
the Battle of Mechanicsville in the American Civil War, he stood alone
praying on a nearby hill, steadfastly refusing to speak to anyone all
afternoon. With nobody to guide them, his Confederate troops suffered huge
losses.
Tough
-----
HARRISON, Ark. - After a farmer's arm was ripped off in a tractor accident,
he picked up the limb, climbed back on the tractor and went home to get
help. "What was I supposed to do? Lie there and die?" James Arlen Mondy's
wife quoted him as saying. Doctors tried but were unable to reattach his
arm after the Dec. 16 accident. Mondy was knocked off his tractor when it
hit a hole and the spinning blades of a brush cutter chopped off his arm at
the shoulder. As he made his way home, he stopped to open a gate, drove
through, and then dismounted the tractor again to close the gate. He
continued on his way and began to feel lightheaded. Luckily, a passing
couple saw him and were able to summon help.
Inn
---
A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry,
came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon."
He knocked gently on the door.
The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window.
"Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked politely.
The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.
"No!" she said rather sternly.
"Could I just have a pint of ale?"
"No!" she said again.
"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"
"No!" by this time she was fairly shouting.
The vagabond said, "Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.
"D'ye suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?"
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