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ZL3AI  > HUMOUR   24.12.03 21:24l 94 Lines 1854 Bytes #999 (0) @ WW
BID : 2553-ZL3AI
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Subj: Job application
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Sent: 031224/1856Z @:ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC #:15271 [Chch-NZ] FBB7.00i $:2553-ZL3AI
From: ZL3AI@ZL3VML.#80.NZL.OC
To  : HUMOUR@WW

Job application
---------------
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior submitted to
Walmart in Arkansas, and they hired him!

NAME:

George Martin

SEX:

Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION:

Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the
first place.

DESIRED SALARY:

$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:

Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:

A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:

My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:

It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:

Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:

1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?

If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 Lbs?

Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?

On the job no, on my breaks no.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel
who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to
be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?

Yes, Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:

Sagittarius


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